Yes, yes it does. Even the form of creativity and due diligence.
The book cover is complete. The printer is printing my hard copy proofs as I type. All I had to do today was get up and upload my finished book onto Amazon and Kobo.
And yet, here I sit, typing a blog post.
See me dragging out each sentence.
Maraya will not be happy with this format.
Clearly in violation of blog structure.
Why am I procrastinating?
The manuscript I have spent 10 years writing, revising, burning, rewriting, celebrating, crying over… is done.
I mean, I could certainly go through yet another round of revisions: tweak a word, tighten a sentence. But it’s done. Ready for the world.
And I’ve pushed so hard to make this deadline. All I had to do was load it.
I’ve talked to my mom on the phone.
I’ve made tea.
Talked to my sister on the phone.
Ate cookies. Yes, you heard me… COOKIES!!
That should tell you the state I’m in.
And now I’m adding sunflowers to all the chapter headings of the eBook.
Does it need sunflowers? Nope.
Does it need to get loaded onto Amazon? Yep.
I expected to have so much excitement this morning. To be done already and celebrating my accomplishment with a bike ride around the coulee by now.
But here I sit, embellishing the pages.
Like I told Maraya in an email this morning, I might have to bribe the Guardian at the Gate, because clearly letting go of this book is harder than I thought it would be.
This is why we need ritual. Why we need to honour our work and our process. Why we need to pause and take it all in. This moment.
This is why we need more cookies!
Just appreciation, patience and love.
Then a little push out of the nest.
The Gate Keeper isn’t keeping me from releasing An Accidental Awakening into the world, she is only helping me to pause and savour this moment, acknowledge the winding road that led me here, and open my heart to the new blessed road ahead.
And with that, I think I have enough sunflowers.